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Saturday, October 23, 2010

gahh

Spent over an hour on one dang math problem trying to find the damn inverse of 3x^3+3x^2+6x+1 to figure out after a shower that I needed to follow the little trick on the notes from the professor and found out I didn't need to find the inverse in the end.... gahh stupid math sometimes....

I guess that's what happens when you actually try to get ahead on math homework, ya fail. :/

Friday, October 22, 2010

North High

that was freakin' scary.
I can't say anything. I can't judge really.
I understand what people are saying about why the heck were they cooking in the first place but at the same time. I understand why they were... ehh

but I can say it was pretty dang scary and I'm hoping the best for all of them.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Life...

kinda sucks right now...
I need help I think.

programing assignment due in 4.5 hours

math midterm thursday, study time = 0

room problems fixed = 1

failures = too many to count.

sleep = minimal

my life = downhill.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

It's been some time now

I've been busy. I keep wanting to post more but life gets in the way. done with 3 weeks of school and so over it...
Oh being a Sophomore... :/
But there have been a lot of college first.

First -
all nighter 10/12/10
going to office hours (this year)
ending up crying about possibility of failure
seeing MY advisor
dropping a class... chem 1a
actually standing up to the TA's snide comments
standing up for myself in general
taking a shot
taking a shot with kelly cash
trying beer
college party
college kickback

and I gotta admit, when I started thinking about it. I somehow feel more comfortable about speaking up this year. It's good but same time I'm afraid one time it'll get me in trouble. Then again my cs and physics ta are both really kinda douche. CS is just a pain and Physics he's good but freaking LOVE to pick on my group the second I DON'T know the answer... and my group doesn't seem to know either... :/ ehh

hopefully this year starts to turn around now though. Especially since I've given myself back 7 hours of class time and means more time to focus on my other classes. Wish me luck.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

new year, new blog?

ehh not sure. But I'm on tumblr now so follow me!! :D
sleepingdragons.tumblr.com
haha shameless plug! lol

I don't do a typical blog there though but I find it fun.
I'm finding facebook boring too... anyone else? I ono I feel more like a stalker on that site when I'm just that bored.

And this is how I'm ending my summer. I find it kind of sad but at the same time I'm enjoying having so much free time. Summer finally being over is bittersweet to say the least. I barley saw anyone but I enjoyed time at home. Hopefully I have time to finish one more craft project though. We'll see cause I still need to pack for real for the apartment.

The apartment in mind, I'm excited but scared if that makes any sense... that and apprently I'm living with 4 other girls... ehh so I'm crossing my fingers for a drama free year... or at least less drama than the crazy ass shit I've seen in the dorms. we'll see. I'm glad I at least got my own dang room.

but I'm loving my game! :DD It came out on Sunday!

and I'm proud of what I did with my nails. I think they look really pretty! but too forever to do.

so i took this with iphoto and was too lazy to flipp the picture...
but yes that said 11 hours and 79 puzzles found and solved!


I'm Danielle and I'm addicted to Professor Layton Games. haha

While all them guys got their Halo Reach, I got my Professor Layton Puzzles! :D

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

ahh gahh

I kinda of okay really did just give up on the BEDA thing... ehh it got hard .


omg ...


that's what she said.

haha that just put me in a better mood. but overall i kind of got sick of some of the topics so next april is my second chance of BEDA (Blog every day in APRIL) haha and I think I can pull it off and am planning to make it more just daily blogging in general.

Blogging, I don't know why, but I'm actually really starting to enjoy doing for the fun of it and everything. It's very theraputic (spelling?? haha) and even though I know like no one reads it, it's not bad at all either. Hopefully soon means I'm a more avid poster. Hopefully or at least them times of the months cause seriously I've had so many desires to post lately and I was kinda stuck posting what the dang list said... ehh

but goodbye August! I TRIED! :D


Hogwarts train tomorrow! woot!

Gotta Get back to Hogwarts! less than 3 less than 3
LMAO! :P


Friday, August 27, 2010

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

I met you only once because you were in that video and I'm thankful for you being so completely awesome. Rest in Awesome Esther! You shall be missed.





Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

this is hard. I don't know many well that's a lie but I don't have much to say to you. I feel like a stalker when I see what you've posted on facebook though. I love remember them old days when we were all in the same state though. Life was easier back then and the biggest argument we could get into back then was pokemon vs digimon. at the time pokemon always won.
At the same time, you guys were the people I began to experience the world of harry potter with and that will always remain with me.
I never cussed with you guys, because the worst we knew was shut up. We would run on the play sets, and play four square and teather ball and i miss them days but at the same time. I'm glad I left when I did because from what you guys have told me, life quickly got boring. and I think that I learned a lot more about life here even if i could have learned more from a book there.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

She probably won't read this. But I hate that you've kept yourself so busy with school I don't get to see you anymore.
and I really think that we should have hung out more this summer. But as it draws to a close, it just makes me miss that I didn't talk to you all summer long and now it's drawing to a close and you're going back to school soon...
I really don't like that I don't even hold convos with you via text anymore. It's not fair, yet I do understand you're busy but you don't even wanna hang out when you are free and it hurts.
But i'll do what I've been told and just let you come back when I'm needed because that is what friends do in the end.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

since we've drifted let's fix this. Let's hang out, let's skype, let's talk, because I don't want to lose you.
But while we are apart, you'll be on my mind.
People can never make you change.
But it is the people you bring close to your heart that molds us into the people we are.
nuff said, so let's fix it! :D

Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you.
I'm sorry for the problems I've created and I hope that one day you'll forgive me enough that we could be civil. and after my post of the person who's truly hurt me, I can't say that you'll completely forgive me.
but I do hope I didn't hurt you as much as that one person hurt me.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

first off, fuck you.
second. go to hell
third I forgive you because I want to be over you. I want to be done with you so much it's crazy. When my mind is not focused, you still have control over mind mind and I don't know why but I don't want it there in your hands. you shouldn't be allowed to have it and I hate that you still do. Seriously, I forgive you already so that I can take back me.
I hate that I end up checking your facebook hoping that you're hurting, hoping karma finally got your ass cause you've hurt me so much.
I hate that you think you're perfect, that you're just, that you think you can continue to do this to other people
I hate that you become someone I despise so much, I let you into my life thinking you were never gonna do something like this and you did.
I hate that you are such a hypocrite and people don't see it.
I hate that you got me to dislike other people because I was trying to be supportive.
I hate all the days that I tried to support you and you never did the same
I hate that you even have friends. I don't think you deserve them
I hate how people think that one day it will be okay.
that might be the case, but deep down I won't ever forgive you. Deep down I will NEVER trust you again. that boat has sailed and left
I hate that you feel justified in what you did.
I hate that I have to be the bigger person
I hate that I don't have the guts to go in front of your face and tell you exactly how I feel with every ounce of my body
I hate that you'll never feel the pain I feel against you
I hate that I was ever kind to you
I hate that I ever accepted any of your offers.
I hate that I pretended to be okay with you for more than a week while you were more than okay to say everything about me you didn't.
I hate that you always say you wish you weren't what you were.
I hate that you gotta try to be something you're not
I hate that you tried to change your style to fit in
I hate that I let you hinder my performance in school.
I hate that you complain about so many stupid little things.

GROW UP AND GET USE TO DOING THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO.

but most of all,
I'll never read that letter you sent me, do you remember the letter? it was a response to me for mine. there are many times I think about reading it but the truth is and was I won't and never will. I don't ever plan to. If I do, someone else will read it first and then I will but until then don't count on it.


I don't ever count of being friends with you again and one day I will just delete you.
You never helped me succeed and if anything only brought me down.
So fuck you. Have a nice life and I wish for you nothing.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 11

I really don't want to type this.
But for you grandpa I will.
I have to say sorry first. Because I seem to always forget until that time of year comes when I begin to feel bad that I haven't thought about you in a while. I don't like to think that you're gone, even if it's a better place because it's hard. and to tell you the truth, death scares the crap out of me... like I'm not even going to go there but still.
and even thought I don't think of you much, I miss you more than ever. especially when I do start to think about you. It hurts to think that you're gone and it's hard to realize that you've been gone for more than 7 years now. you were the first person that I was close to that left and I'm glad that I haven't had a lot of losses like many other people.
there are days though, that you just pop into mind and I think wow you've been gone so long and in the end I just hope that you are proud of who I've become so far in life.
See already crying as I try to complete this. It's hard. I just think of all the things back then and I miss you more and more, especially when I think of how you never really got to meet alex or romeo or lea. but to see you again one day I sure do hope and take care of grandpa willie on his way there to be with you.

I love you and miss you.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to



Someone I don't talk to as much as I'd like is probably all the people I lost contact with during my moves.
I really wish sometimes that I kept in touch. Even though back in the day it was hard. Internet was still new, phones were still only at home and having a cell phone was like carrying a really light brick. You can sure say that times have changed. But even the kids that I had met in Virginia, I really wish that still would talk to you guys more often. I see you on facebook all the time, but that's where it ends. I view your pictures and see your status updates but in the end our friendship hasn't changed since I didn't see you again on facebook. I really wish we could have kept closer touch where it wasn't awkward to comment on your random posts or what not but what has been done has been done and at least I have the past to remember all the good times we had back then.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet


This is a hard one because there are so many many people I would love to meet.
But I think right now I really wanna meet Tom Felton.
Why you may ask now.
Well because of Twitter, I think he's pretty damn amazing.
He's got a heart of gold and even though he's a big actor now, he's still so down to earth in his twitter posts and always seems to be about the fans. and let's not forget that he sings and writes his own music, that I think is pretty damn good. Man, this boy is just amazing in my mind. He blows me away at just how he is still so down to earth and man I want a boyfriend like him lol

gahh that's what I get for following his tweets! haha

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend


I don't really have an internet friend. Wow these last two posts are just pretty sad when you think about it.
But to any future internet friends. hello and I'm glad to have you as a friend online! :D





lame sauce I know. :/

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Day 7 - Ex


to you -

thanks a lot.




jk

I don't have much for this so kind of why I sat on this for so long and I didn't want to post out of order... but here you go. I guess.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Day 6 — A stranger


To a stranger:

Hello and i have no ideas what really to write here. LAME SAUCE!
to a stranger in the world, I hope your life is well and you've been blessed with good people. If you haven't, go find them because there are so many of them out in the world.
As I think about it, when I first meet anyone, they're all strangers. Even people I've known for years can be strangers deep down.
Think about it. I mean, how much do we really know about a close friend. We're not always friends with all the same people. We don't know their habits at home, how they go about making dinner, cleaning, doing laundry. Unless we live with them and overtime, true personalities come out. True colors
I mean at school you talk to people between certain hours and to get to know them is to be with them 24/7 and even then a friend could become a stranger.
Makes me wonder who really are these people I feel like I need to keep close. But at the same time, I don't want to know everything about you there stranger. Because one if i did I'd feel like a stalker and I think some things are just ment to keep personal and be private, unless you admit it to me.
Man this can so quickly turn into a rant right about now... haha
so I'll end here and hope that you, stranger, will be someone more than that one day.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 5 - Your dreams



i like how this one came out. the pictures i mean...

To my dearest dreams,

Some are far some are so near I can almost get you.
but this one will be short because I don't have much to say to you other than you keep me motivated to keep going. You make me stronger when I fail at you, and I fail and many but I've always managed to find something new, something I wouldn't have gotten without my fails.
Dreams will always remain in my head, as delusional as some maybe.
and to you weird odd dreams that I end up pondering for days on end, if i can manage to remember them that long in advance, why do you come without make any sense?
Sometimes I wonder are you just fears or my crazy mind running the show again?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 4 - Siblings


ah, sibling day.


you two can be such a pain but at the same time life wouldn't be the same without you.

while I'd rather you guys not be there half the time. you're still family. I'm the hardest on you because I expect better from both of you. I don't want you to become someone i hate or disliked in school and hope to keep you away from these same people.

Being the oldest, I find it's more important to try to keep you from these people and keep you guys to become something great.

while I may not show it much, I love you both.

just don't be copying everything I do.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 3 - Parents


To my Parents:

Thank you for 19 years. 19 years that you've supported me and helped me grow.
It wasn't always fun. Many times still isn't. But thank you for it none-the-less.
You've given me things that I wanted and still do.
Thank you for helping me survive and even being someone to talk to. It's amazing how much you guys have done, how much you have given up to give me and the buggers just an amazing place to grow.
Even if you moved me around a lot, I've learned a lot - from you and from helping me each step of the way through life.
What I'm most thankful for, is that you've given me freedom that many parents don't give. The freedom to just be me, to tell you everything and pushing me forward in life in the worst of times. and that freedom hasn't only let me tell you guys more than any normal teenager would, but has made me more mature and ready for the world.
While I'm you're first and the one you're expected to mess up on, I think you guys did a pretty good job.
I love you.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Day 2 — Your Crush



to my crush:

I admire you from afar. I think you're amazing and I want to get close to you.
but I have to admit, it's hard to let on. You seem so much cooler and so different. If you want to know the truth, I wasn't looking for anyone and then one day you where there.
And you were just so nice, for once it didn't seem like I needed to prove you how smart I was, but at the same time. I doubt you were looking at me the same. It scared me that little fact.
How was I to know if I was liked the same way back.
And if you didn't, i wanted at least your friendship.
I was so confused. I still don't understand my full feelings for you. Days where I like you more and more and then other times I feel like it's a lost cause.
I've never seemed to have any feelings like this for someone else before I must admit.
and it's so hard to admit I like you.
So while you live your life, I live mine and I just hope that one day something happens.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 1 — Your Best Friend


To my best friend(s):

How do I even begin to create a post about you. You're one of them people that can make me smile in the darkest of times and help me through every day. While there are days that I won't see you and can be weeks apart when we last talked, the second I'm down, I know I can count on you to be there for me. and I hope you know that if you have a bad day, don't be afraid to come back to me.
There are hundreds of quotes about a best friend on how they forgive you for what you've done wrong, but I think a best friend is someone who doesn't care about what you've done wrong. They look past it and say they're my friend and I'll be there in right and wrong.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

this is a quote i think represents you so well. It times where everyone else gives up on you or doesn't come to comfort you says not only a lot about a person but a lot about how good of a friend they are. This is something that I've become so familiar this past year and in the end thank you for everything.

I say that all the time in blog posts and what not but really I have no new words for you as my best friend. Why? because there aren't any words to tell you just how important to me you are.

with all my love ♥

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Blog every day in August.


So I saw this all over facebook. I can't resist so we're starting tomorrow on this!! and I'm gonna add a day 31 since it's needed for august and instead of Blog every day in April, I've changed it into August.

but note: there will be a couple days that won't be posted everyday b/c of a recent death and may be away from the internet for about a week. but here you go! :DD

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror


and since it's still 31st!
Happy Birthday to Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling, and even the amazing Joey Richter! :D


Don't Unplug Me - ALL CAPSDon't Unplug Me part 2 - ALL CAPS

Happy Birthday JK Rowling and Harry freakin' Potter! :D


and it's also NATIONAL DANCE DAY YAY! :D







Friday, July 30, 2010

It's Neville Longbottom's birthday...

The almost-boy who lived. haha
I can't lie, I thought about this little fact in my head for like 5 out of my 30 min walk or whatnot. haha so lame sometimes... x_x
but ya. I enjoyed a walk to North, crashed the dance class with Tiffani.
ATTEMPTED to do a contemporary Ballet after not dancing for an entire year.
Got a ride to 7-11 and walked home with a 2 dollar slurppee!
and got home to see the verison people just finishing.
I want my vios and new internet already.

I'm hoping it'll fix my crappy internet from going in and out all the time as well as the slow speed depending on the location in the house. we'll see though.
oh ya and the fact i can't get onto like 2 websites. no idea why either. stupid technology sometimes... saids the computer engineering major haha
"A Computer is only as smart as its user"

Friday, July 9, 2010

summer 2010


I found my love for reading again, but before I pick up another book I feel like I should be studying.

I finished she's so dead to us the other day. good stuff. glad i read it first. really a break my brain needed, not much to think about, light reading for me. but i really feel like I should be reading about computer science, since I did read every dang page and I haven't done any programing since the final D: ...

but at the same time I still need to read 2 private novels before the next one is out in august. I have to read and actually finish a John Green novel cause I keep starting but not finishing, I want to re-read harry potter 7 for the movie, and i got a new one at Costco the other day which I'm excited about. I should get going on this stuff...



gah cs. you would do this to me.

and i gotta say, what's up with no sun in Torrance?!

past couple days have been nothing but gloomy days. Newsflash. We're not in JUNE anymore... there is no heat either... ehh maybe that's what Riverside and Hawaii's weather has done to me.

Hawaii. i need to post pictures. someone besides my uncle bugg me for them! lol

but good news, Disneyland in two weeks. hopefully Six flags with some amazing people soon, and wedding this sunday for a cousin I don't remember but I love to get dressed up!! :D I found a dress at Sears and I'm pretty much in love with it. It's so purtty! :D

oh and to add to the check list, I need to get my hair done again... even my dad's been saying so. he keeps making fun of it too... :[ but i'm used to it.

I need to see Toy Story 3 still too! but dispicable me with Julie tomorroww!! :DD

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's official

J.K. Rowling is officially my hero.

You're probably laughing because everyone knows how crazy I am about the books she's written, but what has drawn me to this conclusion are her quotes about life. It's amazing how much she's taught me about life and even after Harry Potter books have finished, she still teaching me.

so here's something to anyone who's even still reading.
Who's your hero? and why?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

and It's a Wrap! :D

First year of college CHECK! :D

I'm glad it's over. It was not only an academically hard year, at least winter and spring quarter, but the drama was ridiculous and completely stupid and unneeded.

First quarter I am thankful for having met some pretty amazing people from learning community who then kept me sane from the day we all somehow grew close until I was finally able to leave the issues of the dorms. They really did help keep me in check, keep me from going nuts bottling everything up and kept me on track.

Dorm life began as fun until I realized there were just certain personalities I did not like and were unattractive to me. I'm sad to say I probably fell for about 50% of all the crap given to me until all of a sudden I was forced to seem like the "bad guy" because I wasn't "signing out" that I was going home when my mom was taking me. Sounds kind of stupid that I would have to tell anyone I was going home in the first place because 1. I was legally an adult. 2. they weren't taking me home or responsible for me in any way. 3. If you wanted to know, ask and I did pack the night before, ALWAYS.

but whatever I put that past me, or at least I try. What I think most of them don't realize is that going into college, I brought down as many walls as I could myself. I wanted to be more open to people and new experiences. The walls were then pushed back up not because I wanted them to but because I realized if they wanted to get to know the real me, they would come to me and break them down themselves. I didn't need to be someone I wasn't, I didn't do that in high school and wasn't going to start now. But knowing I waisted so much time only getting to know the hall, in the end I regret it. I feel like I really should have reached out more to other people, I did and tried and met lots of amazing people I'll explain shortly but spending a quarter only getting to know my hall to only learn that I couldn't 100% trust them like friends I really thought they would be.

And it's hard for me to let go. I want to look at them the same way, I want to be a friend again, I want to give them a second chance. But I don't want to get hurt and I won't let myself get hurt by the same people twice. If I do, I'd be stupid.

and along with all that I lost $200 because of student housing. so I had to cancel my contract due to problems with roommate situation (nuff said) and to even try to find another apartment in UCR student housing you had to cancel your first contract. When you CANCEL, you FORFEIT the $200 DEPOSIT! once you do, they can look to find you a new place. but the SIGN FOR THE NEW PLACE = $200 DOWN PAYMENT...

see where this takes me. yup would lead to $400 down the drain. so I went elsewhere but as I told people they only believed that the $200 was transferable. I really wonder why.... not.


Enough about them.
Amazing people there few in between but I found a pretty good bunch. Just words cannot replace my feelings for how these people made my school year not hell. from my neighbors across the way on A3, Gisele and Robin. Amazing amazing people who were more than welcoming to me and I only got to know them after I approached Gisele at the Hub. Amazing!
B1 people were funny and enjoyable and so much better. I didn't get to know them as well but I enjoyed every minute with them because well one they were guys and laughed in the face of drama!! :D

My engineering buddies. amazing people. at times annoying but chris's hello world rants, to mitchell's butt hurt ness to kevin and justin's gaming adventures and courtney giving me coffee and addie's glen stories and mike's crazy downloading and personal t-shirts. just amazing people I was so glad to have met. and I cannot wait to see what happens next year with them.
Katipunan: thank you for being so welcoming and even though I barley went to meetings taught me so much about my culture and really was amazing. Marissa thank you for making me go to stuff and keeping me informed.


And my visitors:
Lori & Layne. good times and nuff said. lol came down so many times to hang out it was amazing. and I love you guys for taking the time to drive down, even if it was to escape Torrance.

Tammy and Trisha: I loved our shopping trip. It made my month. it was just so much fun and I wish i told you more about the drama that was happening because sometimes your advice tammy is blunt and may have helped but I had to learn. but the squid now that was interesting haha

Riju: last minute but it was good. it was like old times again, sitting in stats 2nd period with jlao out and you mean and adam just hanging out only with more stories and new adventures in our back pockets to spill about and for once i didn't feel as stupid! :D

------

Isabel: you became a rock for me. amazing. you don't know how much you really really helped me through everything and I'm glad I didn't write you off when you barked at me and I'm really glad I put my nose where it shouldn't have been and visited you when I heard about what happened about housing. Thank you for keeping me posted on what was going on in your life to get me away from mine and supporting me through hell.

Julie: you're beautiful and you will find your man I promise you but in the mean time. thank you for taking me away and surprising me and keeping me sane and having someone to talk to that just understood. you didn't need to share your bed and you did and I owe you so much for just that one night.

Marissa: I loved our lunches. and finally getting to know you better without having to think about housing next year and drama, thank goodness you knew what I was going through because of all the negative thought people had put in my mind at times I'd think wow, this girl is going nuts but in the end you held your head up high and were a better person that I gave you credit for at first and I'm glad you blew me away.

Christine: My lovely lovely lovely lovely christine! I love you like a drug addict love them drugs cause you kept me sane just by a small hello and you kept me studying and got me to study and helped me realize what I missed. I'm glad you had markers that night and you reminded me about other things and good times and you're someone I will always treasure.

Michael: You crazy and Im going to miss you as you would tease christine and what not but I now you're on to SO MUCH BETTER.

Meghan: girl you crazy and amazing and so glad you were my neighbor!

Janel: THANK YOU for taking me places I needed to go to, and even just to get food! you, i judged so quickly and I regret every second of that. I'll never do that again and you taught me that. You proved me wrong in so many ways.


First year was bumpy and came with surprises and while someone told me "it only takes one person to ruin an entire year" but I won't let that one person ruin my entire freshmen year because while part of me blames myself for a lot of it. I have come to terms that I had to do some growing but I can't blame just myself. I also would like to say that you should be glad I'm as strong as I am because you could have killed with what you did this year. if you had someone just weak enough, they could break and you'd be the reason they killed themselves.

I'm trying to turn a new leaf and as I wrap up this year. I'm putting the bad behinds, bring the lessons forward and I'm going to try to move on. starting now. I'm bringing closer the people who keep me sane and keep me going. and many of them where from North and it makes me proud to say I was a north high graduate because there are so many of them that are just truly amazing people who might not have told me ahead of time what I was probably getting into, but still where there for me when it counted. While maybe one day they'll be a part of my life again, I doubt it would ever be the same. “Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”
For my new friends, my new real friends thank you for every ounce of yourself you gave me and told me and let me in on. I hope to make some amazing new memories with you next year! :D
including Glee and COD and maybe a party for once?!?

Sorry for no pictures and just blocks of words. but

That's a wrap.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

FINALL it's almost over

I can't wait for the first year of college to finally be over, or more like move out of the dorms. They're right when they say it ONLY takes one person to ruin an entire year.
and at least i can say i know who my true friends are.
and seriously, if you wanna know something, why don't you just ASK how hard is that... stupid people...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fall 2010 Schedule! :D


fun stuff! haha
watch me kill myself slowly... 2 math classes and 2 science classes. woot woot
first time without ANY BREADTH classes! :D

I believe...

It was a Power Write in Creative Writing today and i feel I didn't do it justice in class, so here goes

PowerWrite 6/1
I believe in a friendship that means pulling a friend out of their home to go to the movies and then end up at BJs to watch the Lakers game, I believe in dancing and singing and jumping around my room to music in the middle of the night, I believe in staying up past midnight when you have an 8 am lab, I believe that someday something will get you if you piss someone off, I believe in holding your head up high after you've been beaten, I believe in not letting other people continue to beat you and put you down, don't let them win, never let them win because you're just as strong and you can win if you have the desire to, I believe in never letting the words of others make you quit at something that is challenging, I believe the best kind of learning is to learn something new and different, not the old stuff, not the stuff we've been forced to cram into our minds since we were in kindergarden, learn something different, something new something that proves that all we needed to know we learned in kindergarden, I believe in one god the father almighty creator of heaven and earth, I believe in not following the bible to a t, God gave me a mind, let me use it, let me explore and let God guide me through my troubles and my faults, I believe in love not boyfriend girlfriend love, but love from friends and love from family, the love that always is pushed to the side and ignored on valentines day, the love that you get from helping a man that is struggling by giving him a dollar or the love you get from friends as they try to show how that person hurting you is blank blank blank, fill in bad word here, I believe that Harry Potter has a deeper message and no matter what can never be compared to Twilight, I believe that people are all beautiful, but I still want to be skinnier, I believe people change and can become worst than they first appear, I believe that all truth is not the full truth, I believe that people can be stupid, I believe that I've only begun to learn who I am and will only truly find myself with the help of people at my side to push me and help me grow into a person I want to become, I believe all people have a part of themselves they hate or despise or wish they were something else, I believe that a people should have the right to choose their partner, because they have the right to be happy, I believe that drinking everyday of the week is stupid, especially if you're paying for all of it and only drinking in the dorms, go to a party you fool! I believe relationship involve work and dedication, I believe that staying up all night to console a friend is a better use of your time than sleeping, I believe in staying up all night to do homework because I can sleep when I'm dead, I believe in expression yourself and that showing that you're a little geeky or nerdy is a good thing. I believe creativity is important to keep the mind from becoming the burnt fry in the frier.

Monday, May 31, 2010

I always do this to myself.

Yet another assignment is due tonight and look what I'm doing...
yup

messing around with iphoto again... haha
I've realized though, I think I'm finally finding myself again. I really thing the beginning of the year I lost myself by wanting to fit in, and now. I don't care. I'm just me now! :D
I hope anyway haha

This weekend was amazing though!!
I watched Prince of Persia with half of DAMSEL, LAKERS game at BJ's with PAZOOKIES! :D
i think i forgot to take a picture of them though... sadness right there. but they were good!
and then...
I ran into my seniors!! well 2/3s of them
Then was off to Border to study with Julie for old times sake.
cute guy alert!!! of course i was leaving at the time... boo to that. haha
no picts though...
and dad used the BBQ and we had lobster tails and steak geez it was good to be home this weekend!

Today was nice lazy day too
I pretty much just packed to go back to UCR. like i wanted to... :[ no i don't wanna go where there is stress and hw...

but hey look where i'm at...
but ended up going to eat at Tyler Mall and yay for pretzels and family time. alex got this toy cat from McD's and then when it purred, dad teased sam if it was bower. long story short, she took too long to respond and realized he was teasing her about her bowser impression when he would play Super Mario Galaxy. only sami. haha


but HARRY POTTER NEW UP THE WAZOO! :D

In case you don't wanna know what everyone looks like 19 years later... haha don't look at the next pic. haha man it's been crazzy! i even spotted a difference in draco, one time he's got a mustache another day GONE! lol i've looked at too many picts...
but the kids are so cute!!! :D
but I hope at 37 I don't even up looking THAT old... ehh


I just saw this from Snitch Sneeker. Nice to know Rob Patt isn't a complete douche from the fame of being a shinning vampire! haha and yay Taylor! :D

And I can't wait for July just for this! :D
I saw this earlier today an thought it was too funny.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Friday Friday Friday

So I'm writing this when I should be finishing my creative writing 56 project that is due online in 12.5 hours now.
I'm feeling the laziness kick in oh so much!!
This weeks been up and down for me though.
Emotionally and because of my such little amount of sleep.
If you haven't heard the story, well then I guess we either

if ( have not seen each other since graduation and I miss you SO much )
need to talk soon so I can tell you all about college;
or
else if ( maybe I don't want to talk to you anymore )
because you killed all my trust in you;
or
else if (You've been hiding under a rock and still decide not to come out)
{
if ( you want to know && don't wanna come out )
give me your address to your hidden rock;
}
else if (you just don't care)
that's fine too, but I'm still ranting about it;


haha man CS is taking over my life so badd!!

But I've just been distracted by a man cleaning all of the windows in the hub...
gah whatever. I'd take a picture, but it's kinda awkward to have to hold my computer and try to take a picture of the dude cleaning the window.

But yes this weeks been kinda crazy. I loved the fact that I got to see the harry potter actors all dressed up for the epilogue and at the same time, wish I didn't see it. I'm torn by the fact I know what to expect but I'm so excited to see how this story finally ends on film. It's going to be amazing and just gives me a feeling of a child at Disneyland.
Besides that, CS is killing me, so much work and I need to finish my programing assignment this week. which then reminds me I need to turn in my lab. f my life!
I'm also been moving stuff around like crazy! I'm so ready to move out now. Just kinda done dealing with all the people in the dorms... If I learned anything from dorm life, it's WHO TO TRUST and who is actually worth my time.

I don't know but I kinda wish I did apply to more schools last year. While I love many of the people I've met here, I also feel that there are so many people here that are just too stupid for their own good. I mean there is a time for playing and having fun, but these people don't seem to do any of that. I'm not going to name names because I'm not stupid and remember that blog post from Jean and how she was talked about like crazy because of it.
I'll let them talk, whatever because I don't think of a lot of them as friends anyway ( i mean come on, none of them where there for me when I needed it the most and that's not a friend and if they were, they were doing it for information so they could "be in the know"), but I won't be giving names... that's my little secret against them... maybe I truly like you but can't get close because you're closer to them, maybe I'm just a fake nice to you, or maybe I deeply despise you yet still give you that smile as you walk by but I could also JUST deeply despise you.
that and who knows if they actually read this. even if they do, hope this gets the message across to them that hey! maybe you finally crossed someone that isn't going to go for your shit any longer and you need to grow up, get out of high school (cause I'm sorry that either high school sucked for you or you didn't have much of a life in high school that you're looking for a high school environment in college), and suck it cause I ain't your bitch no more.


Gahhh okay whatever. But I gotta say, I love creative writing just because it's actually gotten me interested in writing in this blog again and it's really been a good way to vent lately.

** to the people who did help me through EVERYTHING. You guys are truly angels in my eyes. While we all have flaws, you guys are true friends for being there for me and have taught me who my true friends really are. You guys have kept me sane, kept pushing me to move forward, and if I didn't have you and had parents that raised me to be strong, I might have been one of them girls on the news who killed themselves from bullying.
So I'm grateful that we met and you became my friend and that we talk and that I can count on you.


to end this on a good note, I haven't said this to many people but

I'M GOING TO HAWAII THIS SUMMER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! YAY! :D

SO excited for my friend big family vacation that wasn't just to nor cal.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Why do I always post before CS quizzes

That's an easy one, I'm avoiding my work to mess around. I think I'll go study now.
And I need to finish my Creative Writing essay tomorrow and un-sign my housing contract tomorrow. Hopefully I do both.
I know for sure housing. We'll see about Creative Writing. But I should to go show my TA once more before it's due Friday at 11pm

Riju came by Riverside today. It was fun, hanging out with Riju and Adam again. I never really think I'd say it, but life surprises me. We've all changed because of new experiences but conversations were still the same kind, they talk most of the time and I just laugh.
We headed to the UV, had dinner, and I got this guy! :D
Bandana was from battle of the halls, i slapped a fellow engineer. hehe

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I have CS quiz in less than 30 mins and I'm writing a blog!

Short and to the point though... I want summer.
But I need to get through 3 more weeks before that is even possible.
I'm ready to move on out for the summer and meet up with people to talk about college that i haven't seen since graduation. It should be exciting. I write this as I listen to Testarossa Overdrive (SebastiAn Remix) how I got this, good question i don't even know but it's good.
I need a hair cut too... :/ anyway back to CS. We're learning about recursion, calling a function in it's self until it hits a base case.

yeup fun sheit.
making a snowflake this week for the programing assignment, I'll post a picture once I finish that up.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Yes I know I'm slackin...

I've SLACKED a lot on this blog. A lot of it had to do with whatdaya know, high school kind of drama.
That and cs 12 is HELL sometimes and with a math professor that barley knows how to teach... gah. and if it's not cs12 homework, it's creative writing hw... go figure, but i'll admit i do enjoy this class a lot! :D
Housing is okay, I think I've finally come to a decision on what I'm doing for sure on housing which is good since I've been "kicked out" of my original apartment, which is part of this whole drama shite.
And because of the fun stuff lately, I've just been keeping busy trying to get my GPA up... :[ boo you freakin GPA
but must say, thank you for the music Derek. really did help I was actually afraid it was going to be like a screamo by the title though. (go ahead and look at me in shame for not knowing Primal Scream).

Now I'm just looking forward to moving out of the dorms and getting to bigger and better in my life. It really is starting to get better now that I've started to just go to class and then spend the rest of my time in my room but I do leave to go hang out with some people still, but it is just more hanging out with engineering guys and the amazing girls i met on A side! :D
That and trying to figure out new things to do with my computer... like I found ialertu for my mac and it is pretty damn cool if I do say so myself, even though it ends up making my computer like a car... haha
and this polaroid option, pretty fun shit! :D
see! it's looks like it was taken with the favorite polaroid camera. hehe

and then some of them are kinda cool cause they come out with finger prints and stuff.
but ehh, just waiting for summer now.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Crazy Damn Life

It's a to do list for this week, and just wanted to finally post something again.
Thursday May 6th 2010
1. QUIZ on inheritence and polymorphism
2. FIX programing assingment 4
3. go to Muzo's office hours to hopefully fix said programing assignment
4. DON'T fall asleep during Creative Writing
5. go see Math professor about midterm (hopefully...)
6. STUDY FOR ECON MIDTERM
7. CS SI SESSION
8. Put together Creative Writing assignments
9. Pack for home

Friday May 7th 2010
9 am. CW Discussion
10 am. STUDY FOR ECON/EAT
11 am. ECON DISCUSSION
12 pm. Math lecture
1 pm. STUDY FOR ECON
2 pm. ECON MIDTERM
3 pm. HOME??
4 pm.
5 pm-9. Finish/Submit LAB 6/CODE-LAB
9pm. Finish Lab 6
10pm CREATIVE WRITING HOMEWORK
11 pm sleep

Saturday May 8th 2010
9 am - 11 am CREATIVE WRITING HOMEWORK / Laundry
11 am - 11 pm PROGRAMING ASSIGNMENT numero 5

Sunday May 9th 2010
Get back to R*side early to take tour of off- campus apartments because I HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE NEXT YEAR ANYMORE. AND I LOSE $100!! LOVELY...
LIKE I CAN AFFORD THAT SHIT...

Monday May 10th 2010
1. Last Payment to keep living in a dorm with some ______ people. fill in the blank and i give you a huge congrats if you get this correct
2. Put Together Creative Writing MidChapBook due on TUESDAY!!! make it pretty!


fml why does it always come down all at the same time.
and to top it all off, time of the month i'm thinking, and I want summer, and I'm ready to move out, and I think I may be failing a class this quarter... goodness. I just can't wait to get all this over with already... :/

Thursday, April 15, 2010

all i wanna do is sleep, all i have to do is homework.
What I want to do is play video games and run around having a good college time, but at this moment that is not possible and I'm okay with that.
I've now missed a hike to the C and a trip to the beach and oddly I'm okay with it now because I've come to terms that I will always have to put school work before fun. And by putting school work before fun, I make most of the time I have.
I'm glad to have realized that even though I may not have many people to realize on here, I do have some amazing people in many different places that care enough about me and I care the same about them, that I don't need these people that keep me down and keep me from succeeding.

Keep Away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people do that, but the really great make you believe that you can become great.
-- Mark Twain

Thank you to the people who have believed in me and pushed me and helped me every step of my life.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Thank God for Spring Break!

It's been making me think, this spring break. for one, I'm glad I have it.
for two, I'm kind of excited to start the new quarter, cause I wanna start anew.
That and I'm thinking about taking a dance class! :]
YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY! but it's also $25 so we'll see about that, but there are some free classes that seem like a nice time away from the hall if you know what I mean. and anyway...

I posted this on facebook a while back now, and I'm proud that I still have it up. but thought that I'd always post it on here since I've been so behind but I'm actually excited and hopefully these new things would actually be some fun.

So, if you don't know, Winter Quarter 2010 was not at all that much fun. If it wasn't homework and other work related things, it was drama and other "fun" crap I'd rather not bother to repeat, unless you want to go into details with me, send me a message and be ready to read a nice long essay. While some of it may even seem trivial, it has gotten me to rethink this whole college thing. I've realized that, like all the other times I've moved, I'm not truly myself. I think finally staying put and schooling with the same people from middle school to high school graduation helped me come out more and be more outgoing. Coming into college, I felt that I was going to be able to do the same and at this moment I feel that i've still been hiding a lot that comes out when I'm talking with people from home. So next quarter, Spring 2010, I have decided I'm going to do things a little different and actually try to enjoy college life instead of remaining cooped up and not doing anything about it. My Spring Quarter Resolutions: 1. Not let people get to me or walk all over me - I feel that I've allowed people to not just bug me, but get under my skin and cause my blood to boil. Next quarter, all the people who I have worried and gotten upset about I will no longer care as much as I do today. While this may not sound hard, but it will be for me because I like to not leave people behind or let people I care enough about to screw themselves over, but it is also time for me to begin to think about my own education first. 2. I am going to go to a party! - This I ask of anyone, get me out of the dorms and classrooms and get me to party. Get me out of doing the same thing every week, the same exact things. In high school, I already did exactly the same and I don't regret it, but I want to be able to do something else. I'm in college I need to go to at least one while I have time, and this year maybe the only year I can afford to do so. 3. I am going to a club - I've promised myself this from even before school started. I want to go to a club and have fun. I want to see what it's like and just enjoy the night for once that isn't just a movie and pjs or tv and facebook. 4. I will join a club and keep involved with it. - While I am in Katipunan and it has been fun, I want to meet new people that are also going to be focused on school and going to drive me to keep going with my goals in life. I found a group, found many different people actually, at North that would do the same for me, but I don't have my North High friends here to do the same and I need friends outside of my hall. (FOR LEILANI: SHOULD I STILL JOIN CIRCLE K?) 5. I will keep up my gpa - As much as I want to stay loose and have fun, I do need to keep my GPA up and this is to remind me to keep working hard and not slow down just because summer is on the way soon. 6. I will stay true to myself -- the geeky, nerdfighter, harry potter loving, heart-on-my-sleeve person. - This is like 5 and is something I want to make sure that I stay true to and remains the same. People tagged in this, I tag you because I trust you and I know you will guide me the right way. You guys have treated me as equals and told me when I was wrong and helped me get through all these hard times that I don't want college to change my personality. I don't mind that college may change my views on politics and different social ideas but don't let it take away the one thing I always keep hidden from many people and let me remain the friend and person you guys know I can be. If you have read this far, thank you. really the people tagged in this make my life amazing. College has not been all bad, so don't get that idea. I've enjoyed many things and I've enjoyed the people I've met through Engineering and enjoyed the good times in the dorms. But at the same time, I haven't been all to happy this quarter either.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I just want to be happy again.
I want to be wanted, not asked because of pitty.
I want you to want me.

I need something to do with my mind besides homework and test.
I want to stop thinking about the problems.
I want to enjoy life.
I just want to be happy and feel wanted.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Yay for Comments!

This was going to be titled so differently, but then I found I had comments! yay! ;]

so thanks for them you who do/have read. that was nice to see! :]

but anyways, I've slightly changed my news years resolution.
Instead of blogging EVERY day, at LEAST 3 times a week... on a good week anyway. Midterms and finals well that might not be as possible... haha
At the same time, I plan to go to the gym at LEAST 2twice a week.
So far so good. :]

Dorm life, as much as it is good to be back, also means the stress is gaining. I can tell. SO MUCH READING AND SO LITTLE SLEEP!! :[

bleh bleh bleh bleh.


BUT SOMETHING GOOD IS COMING! :] HOMECOMING!!

and Heat music festival! ;]

The hall is also beginning Assassins.


Everyday there is a safety item and each person has someone they're in charge of killing. and the spoon is the weapon. and can only kill them with the weapon when they don't have their safe item on them. There are some other rules like when you can kill someone and can't and ect. but I'm also pretty excited. We'll see how this turns out! :]


The Game of hiding Jamiroquai continues.
This was completely Kelly's idea that hiding spot. He was missing for a while though but Amber finally found him with a lot of hints.
"I swear he's here... Oo, A quarter!"

And it's Anfoknee! :] with a PANDA cup!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Years Resolution Already FAILED...

I told myself I was going to blog every night. I kind of doubt it's possible, especially b/c my hall is always up so dang late and once homework starts to kill me again... Which I know it will. Especially CS 10.
but since I've been gone, Finals week was hell.
Winter Break was nice. and i feel so much fatter cause of it.

WENT to the beach! :]


Sarah's Debut was fun. good times! :] Sleepover and Buster...

Karaoke and Smart Water and Fro Yo

Christmas I got money AGAIN!! :] YAY!

Grandma and Grandpa had their 50th anniversary. It wasn't too bad except for $100 WATER!!! WTF... and my uncle always taking the food before I could reach it...

And went to the Snow! :] This place was on the way to Lake Taho. and was during the 10 days in no cal.

Moving back into the dorms kind of sucked. Means no more wii and Band Hero and wifi and unlimited food, and a big bed.
But I was glad to be back after my family went home and it was just me with the dorm hanging. It was as if we've never left. It was good to be back to see everyone and such.
There's a new member of B3, she's pretty cool and she's fitting right in.
First day of class was well tech. yesterday and wasn't bad at all. I'm scared for Wednesday, that's going to be one hell of a day... I hate labs already. 3 hours of class... straight! for lab anyway.
We'll see how his all works out...

and to close out 2009 I'm stealing this from *Donna!!*

2009: In the beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year? in Torrance.
Who were you with? Family
Did you kiss anyone at midnight? Family
Did you make any resolutions? none that I remember

2009: Your love life
Did you break up with anyone? nope
Did you get anything for Valentine’s day? candy
Did you meet anyone special? nope

2009: Friends and enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? Yes. Thanks to College and that my dorm is social.
Did any of your friendships end? Feels like it but nothing like I hate you and i'll never talk to you kinds
Did you dislike anyone? YES
Did you make any new enemies? Not sure.
Did you resolve any fights? YES
Who was your closest friend? I like Donna's Answer... but mine DAMSLE
Who did you grow apart from? Many people it feels like, thanks to college again
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? some.

2009: Your birthday
Did you have a cake? yes i did costco
What did you do for your birthday? pool party, actual day was disney world
Did you have a party? yes
Did you get any presents? my graduation/birthday party
If so what was the best thing you got? I got some nice shirts! :]

2009: All about you
Did you change at all this year? I agree with Donna's statement about becoming cynical. I have changed I think.
Did you dye your hair? Noe
Did you get your hair cut? Yes
Did you change your style? not really just shorter than usual.
Were you in school? Yes. Senior year and Freshmen year
Did you get good grades? 3.0 and above good then yes
Did you have a job? no
Do you drive? no
Did you own a car? yes
Did anyone close to you gave birth? No one close, but old friends did.
Did you move at all? to UCR yes
Did you go on any vacations? To FLORIDA! :]
Would you change anything about yourself now? Yes

2009: Wrap up
Is 2009 a good year? I see 2009 A VERY GOOD YEAR! :] Senior year, graduation, college, and just so much more was done than I typically did.
Did 2009 bring any new insights? Many actually.
Do you think 2010 will top 2009? Not sure, but it should be fun! :]

"**taken from Linda, whose blog I frequent (however, it is on tumblr and we cannot cross pollinate"