ahh gahh

I kinda of okay really did just give up on the BEDA thing... ehh it got hard .

omg ...

that's what she said.

haha that just put me in a better mood. but overall i kind of got sick of some of the topics so next april is my second chance of BEDA (Blog every day in APRIL) haha and I think I can pull it off and am planning to make it more just daily blogging in general.

Blogging, I don't know why, but I'm actually really starting to enjoy doing for the fun of it and everything. It's very theraputic (spelling?? haha) and even though I know like no one reads it, it's not bad at all either. Hopefully soon means I'm a more avid poster. Hopefully or at least them times of the months cause seriously I've had so many desires to post lately and I was kinda stuck posting what the dang list said... ehh

but goodbye August! I TRIED! :D

Hogwarts train tomorrow! woot!

Gotta Get back to Hogwarts! less than 3 less than 3

LMAO! :P

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

I met you only once because you were in that video and I'm thankful for you being so completely awesome. Rest in Awesome Esther! You shall be missed.

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

this is hard. I don't know many well that's a lie but I don't have much to say to you. I feel like a stalker when I see what you've posted on facebook though. I love remember them old days when we were all in the same state though. Life was easier back then and the biggest argument we could get into back then was pokemon vs digimon. at the time pokemon always won.

At the same time, you guys were the people I began to experience the world of harry potter with and that will always remain with me.

I never cussed with you guys, because the worst we knew was shut up. We would run on the play sets, and play four square and teather ball and i miss them days but at the same time. I'm glad I left when I did because from what you guys have told me, life quickly got boring. and I think that I learned a lot more about life here even if i could have learned more from a book there.

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

She probably won't read this. But I hate that you've kept yourself so busy with school I don't get to see you anymore.

and I really think that we should have hung out more this summer. But as it draws to a close, it just makes me miss that I didn't talk to you all summer long and now it's drawing to a close and you're going back to school soon...

I really don't like that I don't even hold convos with you via text anymore. It's not fair, yet I do understand you're busy but you don't even wanna hang out when you are free and it hurts.

But i'll do what I've been told and just let you come back when I'm needed because that is what friends do in the end.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

since we've drifted let's fix this. Let's hang out, let's skype, let's talk, because I don't want to lose you.

But while we are apart, you'll be on my mind.

People can never make you change.

But it is the people you bring close to your heart that molds us into the people we are.

nuff said, so let's fix it! :D

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you.

I'm sorry for the problems I've created and I hope that one day you'll forgive me enough that we could be civil. and after my post of the person who's truly hurt me, I can't say that you'll completely forgive me.

but I do hope I didn't hurt you as much as that one person hurt me.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

first off, fuck you.

second. go to hell

third I forgive you because I want to be over you. I want to be done with you so much it's crazy. When my mind is not focused, you still have control over mind mind and I don't know why but I don't want it there in your hands. you shouldn't be allowed to have it and I hate that you still do. Seriously, I forgive you already so that I can take back me.

I hate that I end up checking your facebook hoping that you're hurting, hoping karma finally got your ass cause you've hurt me so much.

I hate that you think you're perfect, that you're just, that you think you can continue to do this to other people

I hate that you become someone I despise so much, I let you into my life thinking you were never gonna do something like this and you did.

I hate that you are such a hypocrite and people don't see it.

I hate that you got me to dislike other people because I was trying to be supportive.

I hate all the days that I tried to support you and you never did the same

I hate that you even have friends. I don't think you deserve them

I hate how people think that one day it will be okay.

that might be the case, but deep down I won't ever forgive you. Deep down I will NEVER trust you again. that boat has sailed and left

I hate that you feel justified in what you did.

I hate that I have to be the bigger person

I hate that I don't have the guts to go in front of your face and tell you exactly how I feel with every ounce of my body

I hate that you'll never feel the pain I feel against you

I hate that I was ever kind to you

I hate that I ever accepted any of your offers.

I hate that I pretended to be okay with you for more than a week while you were more than okay to say everything about me you didn't.

I hate that you always say you wish you weren't what you were.

I hate that you gotta try to be something you're not

I hate that you tried to change your style to fit in

I hate that I let you hinder my performance in school.

I hate that you complain about so many stupid little things.

GROW UP AND GET USE TO DOING THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO.

but most of all,

I'll never read that letter you sent me, do you remember the letter? it was a response to me for mine. there are many times I think about reading it but the truth is and was I won't and never will. I don't ever plan to. If I do, someone else will read it first and then I will but until then don't count on it.

I don't ever count of being friends with you again and one day I will just delete you.

You never helped me succeed and if anything only brought me down.

So fuck you. Have a nice life and I wish for you nothing.